More about me and 2011 Challenge

I thought it would help to know a little more about me, since I am asking you to undertake the 2011 challenge with me :-)

There has been much I have learned over the past few years, which have led me to exactly where I am today.  With the help of mentors, guides and angels, I have learned to accept who I am.  For most of us, there seems to be a missing component...something we search for, something we crave.  From this, we often try to fill this void with a false sense of who we are or who we think we should be based on what other people want.  For me, this journey has unfolded this discovery.  I have come to accept that my dificiencies are what makes me unique and are my strengths.  More and more, I have struggled with anxiety which surrounds groups.  It is also known as social anxiety.  It's funny, my anxiety differs depending on the size of the group and the type of people within the group.  For a period of time, I was so embarrassed of who I was, I could not even bring myself to talk about my stressors with my husband or anyone.  I felt alone and isolated, like everyone could just tell I was different, almost like I stuck out like a sore thumb.

After much processing, reading and discussion, I have come to realize that some of this comes from my upbringing.  I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home.  I truly believe like many children raised in alcoholic homes I found myself surviving by adapting to my surroundings.  By this, it is easy for me to have surface conversations, surface relationships.  More difficult to have deep, meaningful relationships rooted in trust and open communication.  All of this completely coorilates with my social anxiety, you see?

I hope that in sharing this, you will see what you believe are your deficiencies are really strengths.  They are a part of me...they are a part of you.  It may make us different, yes this is true but without differences, this world would be a very boring place...don't you agree?  I have come to realize that it is our imperfections that make us perfect in the eyes of GOD.  For within this is love and compassion, goodness, strength and hope.

Another aspect of accepting who I am was looking at family relationships and patterns.  It is difficult, as I love all of my family but there are patterns within how we function.  Some is a level of pretending so to speak...as if issues do not exist or are kept secrets.  (A pattern of an alcoholic, abusive home life that still lingers)  As difficult as facing some of MY realities have been, it has also been freeing in some senses to work on breaking patterns that no longer serve me or my family in the way they may have needed to in the past.

Inspired on being challenged to do more, to be more, I will be undertaking a weekly challenge during the 2011 year.  My plan is to blog about my journey and if you feel so inspired, send along notes and I will blog about them as well!  If you need more inspiration, check out my web-site http://www.angelicessential.com/ under 2011 Challenge...check out the video and try to say "YES"!!